Yep, a new waft of concern has been added to the miasma of life in the seventh-largest American city: mailbox theft. Allright, America’s EIGHTH largest city! I don’t know why I care – I’m from New Orleans and The Big Easy isn’t really an American city anyway, just ask George and Brownie.

How did we fail to see this coming on? In retrospect it is pretty clear that the 30-year decline in real wages for middle-class Americans coupled with a 35% fall in the dollar engineered by the Texas intelligentsia in Washington would have put some people into desperation mode.

My first indication was a too-loud bang from the basement parking garage late in the afternoon. My condo neighbors usually are too refined for the obvious displays of irritation that the rest of us routinely share with the public. ‘Working from home’ (the term used to be ‘consulting’ for the under-employed) gives me the opportunity to experience and investigate these phenomenon. I must say that my detective senses weren’t on full deductive mode and so I didn’t appreciate the import of the slightly bent vertical aluminum mailbox door.

When it happened again two days later I was better prepared and jumped up, ran out, and ALMOST got to see the license numbers of the white Honda with Illinois plates tearing out of the drive.

Consultation with the police was boring and futile – they’d much rather be ticketing people doing 25mph in a 20mph school zone, or so the facial expressions said. Mr. Postmaster was at least sympathetic; his advice was “install cluster box unit” and things would be “fine”. In the meantime they would STOP ALL MAIL DELIVERY as federal practice suggests.

Nice. I’m really glad I reported this event to the authorities (Note for Texans: ironic content here).

About $2,000 and and two weeks later we have new, very sturdy commercial-quality mailboxes installed by METRO MAILBOX here in Dallas. They were the best part of the whole experience – polite, competent, soothing – everything our paid public servants were not.

I guess I should recommend them. METRO Mailbox, Roger Frey, (214) 342-0332, www.metromailboxus.com, better than policemen or postmasters. Check ‘em out.

OH! For a laugh see the video inspired by this debacle!

I gotta go…

Mail security consultant Roger Frey of Dallas says ” The Bush Tax Rebate will coincide with normal IRS refund mailings starting this May. Hundreds of millions of paper checks will be delivered by the Bush rebate, one to nearly every mailbox in the country. I forsee a disaster.”

“Worse, all these checks will be sent within a short three-week time period. This is the perfect storm for mailbox thieves”, says Frey.

Not worried because your apartment mailbox looks secure? Think again! Apartment and commercial mailboxes may be particularly vulnerable – visualize dozens or hundreds of checks delivered all at once – as many haven’t had USPS-mandated security upgrades.

Contrary to their substantial look these older mailbox installations can be opened easily without special tools. View the attached video to see just how easy it is.

If you need advice about security for apartment mailboxes or commercial mailbox systems contact Roger Frey on (800) 877-MAIL or through the company website http://www.metromailboxus.com.